with my precious gems...

love u guys.....thanx 4 always be by my side...smlm kuar ngn drg ni...asyik gelak je...smpi nk pecah perut guling2 hahhaahahah!!! sumpah funny...yg xleh bla si aida ni la..she wanted to call her love..but then she went n dialed my no instead then i was like 'woi asal ko call aku pussy!' hahah..si indra da pecah perut gelak tgk haida..hahahah...wit her "i dont know wats goin on kinda look' ...while waiting for them, mse tu kul 10.30 am..i went there early bcoz i want to watch 'no strings attached' at 11 am...so i waited for da cinema to open n wait 4 my gems to arrived..so while waiting i went to hav my breakfast at Teh Tarik place..then suddenly wen i tgh mkn..da cinema then open la plak..hahah..ape lg aku tinggal kn makanan tu kejap aku gi li tiket..aku ckp ngn server tu jgn angkat lg my food tu..heee....tp unfortunately..No strings attached were not avalable...huhu..damn sad!!! so end up we watched Mechanic..ok gak la...action movie...then after da movie...we went to PANTRYS..new restaurant almost similar to fullhouse...i treat them bcoz i juz received my first payment after 2 weeks keje at Mesiniaga..heeee....then we went shopping..i beli bju keje n slacks.n tshirts at padini..n SPENDER!!! heheeheh...comel kot spender aku tu.ade rambu2 la plak..byk lg nk cte ni....but i gtg ...nk gi pyramid wit my fren i'll be back to tell more...!!!

my working life..

 huhu kinda bz lately..didnt hav a chance to update my blog..its almost 2 weeks now dat i hav worked at mesiniaga..at first i was like argh wat da hell...!!! i hav no frens..plus i was like alienated like 4 a while..everybody was like doing their own business..they had their laughs with each other...so saaaaaaaaaaad...but they r so warm  n friendly...but now...im getting along wit them kinda well...i went bfast n lunch wit them almost everyday..but mostly they will talk bout projects n management..n stuff..which i dont hav any clue.they hav nicknames which they used for managers dat they dislike..hahaahahh..!! they refered it as a 'subject" hahaaha...i would juz go wit da flow...i hav stacks of reports, spreadsheets dat needed filling n to be recorded into da system..huhu...so basically i hav to be extremely expert in using microsoft excel!!! at first i was struggling!! argh so damn susah..hav to construct a table...la bla ..bla..bla..then i hav a lot of meetings!!! n i hav to always be up to date with newest info..so i really need to read da newspaper every morning b4 i start my work..but sometimes i am too lazy to buy one..i would juz read it on9...save cost!! hehe..n..i also need to check my email everyday to know wats goin on in da office..any news regarding the organization they will juz email it....its kinda fun working wit elderly ppl..bcoz they hav a lot of experience in working n they r more matured...they would usual talks bout facts n educated things rather than talking craps..they r highly educated ppl..graduated from overseas mostly..so i was like argh aku rse cm aku paling bodo kt ctu..but they r not arrogant..they r willingly to guide me..n sumtimes if i dont know bout certain things..i will give my dad a call...n ask him..u hav to hav da ethusiasm n effort to learn ..n be knowledgable...bcoz in da working life..like mr mohan says..'its a real world..' do mistakes there..u will be laugh n look down by them..u need to be independent..scary ha?? tau xpe..now im struggling to learn bout Project management..bcoz in a month or two..i need to assist my PM...she will be on maternity leave..so all da projects will be handed to my associate PM but she cant handle it on her own..so im goin to give her a hand..but first she will train me..how to meet wit clients n visiting the project sites...stressful ....but work is work..u dont perform then u wont progress....btol?? cuak2...hopefully i could cope wit it...

work fever..!!

  
   first day- mula2 i enter into da work space..huhu..gabra sume ade..xleh tdo mlm siot mlm tu..hahaha=p..bcoz i dont know wats gonna happen first day..da thing dat i am most afraid of is dat i takot i cant perform da work ..bcoz i am a freshgrad...with no experience in working especially in office larh..so i went..i arrived there everyday at 8.15am..haha im da earliest employee kot..maklumla newbie kn hee..then i was accompanied by the project executive kak fairuz..she brought me 4 a tour around Mesiniga..went n meet people n introduce myself..segan kot!!! da la ade 12 floors xtinggi plak eh..da best part is dat im da youngest employee in my dept..!! yg laen r officially married ok!! n sume aged 30 plus!! siot jee...nk xnk..kne la mingle with them..they make old folks nye jokes n i pon cm gelak jela hahaha but sumtimes agk funny la..bkn sje2 je gelak...then even malay n malay drg speak english ok!! payah ni...btol2 formal..then tgh ari kul 12.30..i went 4 lunch with HR mistress!!! hehe ain...dgn manager dia sume..da best part drg ajk mkn kt luar ..ok la..i follow je..then stop kt secret recipe seyh!! ha mkn la aku kt ctu...redah je!!! then esok nye..ha i got a task to do..i had to help kak afnie associate project manager in key in all da Delivery order of routers into da system using EXCEL!! haha..terkial2 ha..naseb reti ckit2 ..then after lucnh(again mkn kt luar kt uncle lims with my colleuge ..) i got another task from project manager kak su..ha dis one agk pening bcoz need to file all da COA report in order according to number..ha X 700 helai la plak kn!! juling mata aku siot...ouh n they provide lappy IBM punye berat siot x cm lappy bese..dlm tu ade database sume mula2 xreti pki then kne rajin ty la klu nk tau.. n i pon ade fon sendiri at my table!! Direct line..hee..jgn gayut sudah ar! hehe..then arini..lg byk keje..dri pagi smpi ptg mgadap lap je..buat report lg..n paper work one stack ok..smpi tegang kot urat aku..huhu...klu bosan ha pe lg IM la ngn ain..gossip2..!! hahah..xde keje..=p..so esok tempoh lg ari keje huhu...redah je..!!

4 god sake..hold urself 2gather!!!

depression makes u even skinnier?? or does it makes u even fatter??

i guess it works both ways!!

does these anti depression pills really helps??

relieve stress?? get rid of headaches?? i dont think so...

how bout slitting ur own wrist??

to show ur hatred towards urself or somebody?

does PAIN relieves ur depression??

i've got to stop slitting my wrist.='(   HELP ME...

DEPRESSION HURTS.. alot ='((

got me hooked like apple pie..

cause i;m all about him him him him him

and his all bout me me me me me,

and we dont give a dang dang dang dang dang,

about nobody-e-e-e

well

had him shooting for me like a?

every guy was knock out,?

but not none of um had?

thats my thing

it's not enough to have boss

small?

one day by starbucks,

i bumped into a guy rocking black chucks,

hes said excuse me beutiful..

i said aww chucks!

 then he asked for hey wanna grab lunch?

NEVER EVER MET A GUY SO FLY,

GOT ME HOOKED LIKE APPLE PIE,

I THINK IM FALLING AND I DUNNO WHY

BUT I WONT FIGHT THESE BUTTERFLIES..

and i swear wat we have just is super cool,

the way his always in my head like a bluetooth,

i got a text from him he said just come through

told me he wants to kick it kung fu,

dont do nutin much at all

just me n his boys watching football

he asked for a kiss so i gave him two

he said why thank u baby

i said ur welcome boo..=)

desperately need counselling...

its been almost 2 weeks im having this so called mood disorder...=( hate it!!! perasaan mara tu membuak2..sentiasa rse xpuas ati..hmm..symptoms2 of mood disorder or bipolar disease is loss of appetite n at times terover appetite..im having difficulties to sleep ..da bpe ari xleh tdo mlm..mata da bengkak..n always think bout death xabis2..bile xleh tdo..pale mula sakit..n bile da sakit pale..time mkn pon mixed up!!!! kadang xmkn..kadang skali je mkn..then dtg la angin satan...where im always in mood of anger..usually my dad, my stepdad n my mum yg kne mara..but da thing is drg xwat slh pape..they juz love to ask questions..n suddenly i naek angin gile babi!! smpi hempas2 pintu n yelling at them..mcm contoh drg ajk mkn..skali panggil cukup la!! xyah byk kali..im not death or stupid!! nmpk x..bende cmtu pon i da naek angin xtentu psl..huhu...especially my dad..i slalu mara dia..smpi dia touching n jarang call da..hmm..i dont know wats up with me..but i sure hate this mood swings..!! i hardly laugh..cant think straight..=(...depressed gile mcm ni.....really need to seat for counselling...im mentally ill..=( if xtreat dis disease..akn melarat even worst...which leads to suicide..